I bet you thought that I’d got bored and gone away to new and more interesting things.
Well you thought wrong!
In fact I’ve been busy moving house, decorating, laying floors, and all those other knee destroying things that go with having a bank as your landlord.
After 9 months in the new place what do I have:
Less free time than ever.
Bad Knees.
Tennis elbow.
A current account balance in free fall.
Why do people buy houses? Its a supreme act of idiocy dammit!
Security I hear you say. Bullshit! A landlord is more likely to listen to your entreaties than a bank manager who knows exactly how deeply in the financial shit you are, and can look at your financial status with a clickety click of the keyboard.
Investment I hear you say. Bullshit! If I invest my hard earned cash in unit trusts, I get at least 9% pa. If I invest in a house, I pay 5% pa + repairs on the house + insurance in case the damn thing burns down. I wont even go into the costs of mad women with credit cards furnishing new houses here, as it may severely damage my bedroom rights.
Why do we buy houses then? Well I think its some instinct that comes from the time when there were no bank managers, and the size of your cave was used to attract crumpet. (Incidentally I think cars as an investment are just as stupid, but I’ll go into that later.)
Oh well, do as I say, not as I do,
It all goes to show I’m as big a prick as the next man….
Pricks and Mortar
Well its been sometime, hasn’t it.
I bet you thought that I’d got bored and gone away to new and more interesting things.
Well you thought wrong!
In fact I’ve been busy moving house, decorating, laying floors, and all those other knee destroying things that go with having a bank as your landlord.
After 9 months in the new place what do I have:
Why do people buy houses? Its a supreme act of idiocy dammit!
Security I hear you say. Bullshit! A landlord is more likely to listen to your entreaties than a bank manager who knows exactly how deeply in the financial shit you are, and can look at your financial status with a clickety click of the keyboard.
Investment I hear you say. Bullshit! If I invest my hard earned cash in unit trusts, I get at least 9% pa. If I invest in a house, I pay 5% pa + repairs on the house + insurance in case the damn thing burns down. I wont even go into the costs of mad women with credit cards furnishing new houses here, as it may severely damage my bedroom rights.
Why do we buy houses then? Well I think its some instinct that comes from the time when there were no bank managers, and the size of your cave was used to attract crumpet. (Incidentally I think cars as an investment are just as stupid, but I’ll go into that later.)
Oh well, do as I say, not as I do,
It all goes to show I’m as big a prick as the next man….